“Overeaters Anonymous is built on a foundation of sharing our experience Strength, and hope, one member to another. As OA members, we may serve each other by sponsoring, speaking at meetings, and doing many necessary committees and other service work. For this, none of us receive payment in money. Our reward is something money can’t buy – our own personal recovery.”
-The Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 139
©2018 by Overeaters Anonymous Inc.
Hi My name is Melanie.
I am a compulsive overeater with 15 months abstinence and a 130lb weight release.
When first entering OA, in hearing the term “service”, fear coursed through me. Feelings of inadequacy ruled; my perfection trait soon took hold. I sought out the easier jobs, like setting up chairs or putting out literature. Something not too difficult and not much effort. I lacked the confidence.
It was a nice start but I soon realized, doing the least wouldn’t propel me in my recovery as I had heard action and willingness was a necessity for my program to work. I knew if I wanted change, I would have to step out of my comfort zone and face my fears. If I didn’t take action, I would never have the benefit of program at all, for I had heard in others shares how that the 12 steps are a program of action.
For most of my life, I always seemed to follow the path of least resistance. The easiest path is the one I pursued. No wonder my life was a life of sloth and un-manageability. I always made some shitting excuse not to do, and it resulted in what effort I had put in; nothing. Well, except to grow myself to well over 600 lbs; my compulsive eating was my focus. It consumed me and ruled me and damned near destroyed me. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I knew I needed to push myself and take action to do the very thing I didn’t want to do or I’d remain the same. I didn’t want to live in that insanity anymore. I had enough of it!! I wanted recovery!! …but it came with a price. Hard work and ACTION.
Well now, for this sloth, that felt like an impossible feat. How in the world can I, Melanie do that?
Well “I” couldn’t, for I am powerless to do anything to change me. For 57 years I had tried numerous ways, but nothing worked. I finally realized when reading the Doctor’s opinion in the Big Book of AA that I had a two- fold condition. An allergy to the body and a compulsion of the mind. I would NEVER be a normal eater. When I finally conceded that I was a true compulsive overeater and that I would never be normal, I then knew I was desperate…I needed to surrender my all to a Power greater than myself. Allow my Higher Power do for me what I could not possibly do. So, in finally working the 12 steps like my life depended on it, I finished them in less than a month and recovered.
I took part in meetings through sharing. Man, those butterflies were overwhelming in pushing myself to share. This in itself was a learning curve. Getting rid of that idea of perfection was an on going process early in abstinence. Would what I have to say be right? Would I be able to get words out of me to be understood? What do I have to say of any importance? In listening to others and in proceeding through the steps I started to get to know myself and knew I needed to share. I soon learned I had nothing to fear. In putting myself out there, listening to my heart, allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to share, getting rid of the ego, my recovery began to go forward.
I also took my turn in weekly positions of leading and secretary. I was nervous (that perfection ran high; I had years of experience), but soon, I learned the fear was unwarranted. I was with a group that understood. That there is no perfection and it’s all a part of learning. Acceptance is definitely the answer to all of my problems today. All of this was a progression. A Much need part of my old self, that needed to be gone. That old “idea” was smothered in selfishness, dishonesty, self seeking and fear. My Higher Power was teaching me what I needed to do so He could remove from me what was getting in the way of my recovery.
I soon took on other service positions; my home meeting IG rep, email person, a service member at a virtual non real time registered OA meeting, with NS Intergroup as their Newsletter Editor, service in a virtual Group, as well as many other tasks and sponsoring too; many who my HP sent to me. Doing service has strengthened my recovery 10-fold. I have learned so much in working with others. I have learned about myself…and how the traditions can be upheld in all my affairs. Without doing service, I know my recovery wouldn’t be where it is at today. I MUST continue with service daily. Service is a necessity for me so that I remain spiritually fit and stay recovered. You see I am a compulsive overeater. Never cured only recovered for today.
-Mel, Atlantic Recovery Group
SOURCE: Overeaters Anonymous Maritimes Intergroup OAIGNS Newsletter August 2020
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The experience, strength, and hope expressed in this article, reflect the individual OA members and does not represent OA as a whole. Other OA groups and service bodies are welcome to reprint articles from Experience, Strength & Hope Newsletter without permission. When reprinting from other OA newsletters, be sure to credit the source.
