“We will love you until you can love yourself.” – Program Slogan
I was entirely convinced that I was unlovable before I came to OA. I might have pretended that I had love for myself and others, but self-loathing was the core of my being. I was always on guard, expecting everyone to discover the ‘real me’ and would then, of course, they would reject me. Or, I would demonstrate the ‘real me’ so that they WOULD reject me, to justify my own feelings about myself. One way or the other, I contrived to live an isolated life as a compulsive eater, entrenched in this disease, making every attempt to mask the pain I felt.
Little did I know that there was a solution in the hands of this program for me, even a promise of something I couldn’t possibly have imagined for myself. There were those in OA that demonstrated their love for me, even before I could! It was unfathomable to me then. They accepted me for who I was. They wanted to hear what I had to share, and related to what I shared. They were there for me in every way possible. I could reach out, and I was welcomed in ways I had never experienced before.
As they listened to me, I began to listen to them. As they loved me, I began to see myself through their eyes, and the miracle unfolded! I began to love myself! The love that grew in my heart for my fellows, especially as I continued to work my own program, began to grow in my heart for myself also!
I realized that at last, I was no longer alone. Gradually, I became more and more ‘lovable’… Allowing myself to feel loved not only by my fellows, but finally able to accept the love from my Higher Power that brought the healing I so desperately needed. The love that I was shown was like a seed in my heart that has since grown into a magnificent, ever-blooming flower! I am so grateful to those fellows. This is a miracle I never expected! I no longer have to pretend. I am loved, and I am able to love!
-Inspired by Voices of Recovery, pg. 242 {August 29th}
Submitted by: Anonymous
©2024 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
All rights reserved. Proudly sponsored by OA Foot Steps VIG #09670.
All Rights Reserved. Voices of Recovery excerpt pg.242 ©2002 Eight Edition c.2017; property of Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.
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