“Some days I do not know much about myself, but I am aware of my efforts to find out, to grow. I know that growth has the power of a blade of grass pushing through a crack in cement. I also know that growth comes on its own terms and in its own time. I will be patient. There is nothing else to do...
– For Today April 14th, page105 © 1982 by Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Thirtieth printing.
When I read about the blade of grass pushing through a crack in cement, it reminded me of a picture I had taken of a single flower that had started growing in a most obscure place.
I always had in my mind that it was a flower blooming where it was planted. It didn’t matter the where, it just took root there and grew. I was a nice thought. I marvelled at how such a pretty flower happened to grow right there!
Not until now, did I think how hard it must have been to grow through all that rock! There it stood proud, imperfect and bright after such a venture.
I smile. The reading mentioned how growth is like the power of a blade of grass pushing through cement.
Growth IS hard work.
All those uncomfortable times, those disturbances that I
have felt in the past 6 plus years, have pushed me through the muck and mire to come through on this side of recovery. Each time when I felt things pushing in, all around me; I knew my Higher Power was going to show me something I needed to do and learn. When trusting my Higher Power to do for me what I can’t do, all is OK. No matter what may happen, I can TRUST. I may not understand the how, but I know everything will be OK… that I will be OK. Times of growth are always the hardest, but needed.
It was November 2021. I was one and a half years abstinent. I heard a knock at the door and a paper came sliding onto the floor. I immediately picked it up and opened the door to see two feet running up the stairs and out of sight.
As I turned to go back into the apartment, I began to scan the paper, my mind was swimming trying to comprehend what I was reading. It was from our new landlord. A notification that rent would be going up $500.00 next month and we would have to pay our own heat & lights on top of the increase or move.
My stomach churned, a dread encompassed me. Within minutes my mind raged like a lunatic. “This is not allowed! We just had a rent increase! We are in a rental cap! He can’t raise it that much!! How are we going to fight this??”.
I took a breath. I took the pause. I knew that in being in such emotional upset, I shouldn’t respond right away. In the pause, I prayed. I wrote to my Higher Power and calmed enough to make a plan of action.
In the morning, wrote an email explaining our yearly increase happened in October and that the amount he proposed, although understandable was not permitted during a cap freeze and gave reference to the NS tenancy act, just by chance where he was an emigrant he may not realize these things. No response from my email was returned.
I then heard of two other tenants getting eviction notices and fear started to overwhelm again. I began to get a hate on for the new landlord and I didn’t like it. I knew I had to get out of myself and help another. SO, I signed up to volunteer Xmas day to cook/serve a free meal for those alone at Christmas. It sure switched my focus onto something better. Although the situation never left my mind, I knew I had to TRUST and leave it in God’s hands and do whatever I was shown.
Christmas day came with many lessons in working with others of which I am grateful for. We were almost ready to clean up when we were told we had a family of 5 coming in and then we could close er down for the day. We had lots left over so we packed them up a box of surprises and when the family came in, I saw how they too were of the same race as my new landlord.
We had a few Xmas socks left so we gave a sock each which wasn’t our normal protocol but because we had them, we gave, The family were so grateful and very pleased. They wanted our picture taken with them. Their English wasn’t very good but there was an unspoken understanding. It was a great way to end the day.
When they left, I felt an epiphany of sorts. I felt I was being shown that it is possible for people who speak differently to be able to communicate. I knew I would have to be patient with my new landlord and communicate effectively going forward. I knew Higher Power would show me.
A month and a half later, the new landlord was dropping by to see about a mat that was needed so no one would break their neck on the slippery tile in the entrance way. When he was about to leave, he says to me, “My Father remembers you, and I remember you, and you will always have a place with us.”, and with that he left.
I stood there puzzled. As I turned to go into the apartment, it dawned on me what he meant! They were the family that I had served at the close of volunteering Xmas day !!
Tears welled up in my eyes.
HP had shown me once again that He is in control. I don’t need to know what to do, I just do what He shows and TRUST and everything will be OK.
The truth is, I am powerless over every single thing in my life and I need to let God do for me what I can’t do. So grateful for the Steps to show me a new way to live. And reliance on a Higher Power to show me. I can TRUST and take action in whatever I am shown even when I don’t know the outcome.
This growth process is hard but I can be like that flower coming through those hard rocks… that blade of grass through the cement. I have nothing to fear. I know I will be OK no matter what.
“Trying to find my strengths and weaknesses is a process I go though with my Higher Power to guide me.
I have nothing to fear from knowing the truth.”
– For Today April 14th, page105 © 1982 by Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Thirtieth printing.
Inspired from: For Today reading pg 105
Submitted by – Melanie B
©2026 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
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