At my first OA meeting in hearing the word God, it really turned me off. Then in hearing about giving up my alcoholic foods forever, that cemented it for me, nope…not for me! I left only to return 6 years later when I finally conceded to my innermost self that I’d never be a normal eater. I am a true addict of the hopeless variety.
In retrospect, what turned me off was not God …. but people and the religious dogma which I felt very judged. I never felt I could measure up.
When I finally faced my inability to stop eating compulsively; that I was powerless over food and my life unmanageable. I knew I needed OA. I needed recovery from the insanity.
When I finally came to recognize my condition and that only a Power outside of myself could help, what other option did I have? None. I had run out of all options.
I had to give a measure of Trust to a Higher Power I really didn’t know. Could I Trust this Higher Power to do for me, what I couldn’t do? Could I?
I heard in my head what a wise man had once shared with me, “Trust everyone until you know better”.
I had to give that measure of Trust. I had no other option. I was skeptical, but willing because I wanted recovery. Step 2 states, “Came to believe…”, that is a progression. I could give that measure of Trust and see if this Higher Power could prove it to me. I had no other option. None.
Retrospectively, I couldn’t trust many because I didn’t trust myself. But in faith, I learned to trust a Higher Power and trust in myself in the process.
My Higher Power showed me through many “God winks” I could Trust and our relationship grew.
My idea of “God” is different than before. My Higher Power is a personable God, a friend, a confidant, one who understands and teaches me; loves me, forgives me, accepts every part of me. Whether if I’m good or bad, my Higher Power wants the best for me and has patience with me and is always there no matter what. “My creator, show me the way of patience, tolerance and love.”
It doesn’t matter to me what another person believes now. It is none of my business. What is important is that I nourish and maintain my own relationship with my Higher Power daily that I can be who I am meant to be, one day at a time.
No matter what happens in this life, I now know I will be OK no matter what because I have a Higher Power and a way to face anything in life with the 12 Steps… the solution to every problem.
-Submitted by Anonymous
©2026 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
All rights reserved. Proudly sponsored by OA Foot Steps VIG #09670.
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