Chips of a Different Kind

As I approach 6 years of abstinence, I think of the changes that have happened in my life. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to ensure I am not dreaming. In being a compulsive overeater of the hopeless variety, I thought I would never ever be maintaining a healthy body weight. I felt I would always be fat. The lies I told myself made me believe nothing would change and I wallowed in the dishonesty… but change is possible due to The Steps.

Yes, this compulsive overeater who once was well over 600 lbs 16 years ago, now maintaining a healthy body weight? Who could not stop eating after that first bite no matter what she tried? And believe you me, I tried it all!! A miracle did happen when I finally conceded to my innermost self that I am a true addict. I was ready to go to any lengths for recovery.

Month after month as my home group passed out those chips/medallions to celebrate my milestones, I would look at them to remind me of how far I’d come. Yes, I have an easy program but the work… not so easy, because I like the easier softer way. As my awareness grew, I learned to accept. Oh boy, acceptance can be a hard pill to swallow at times. Then, the action I needed to take. Without action there is no change. I continue this way daily. I have to because I am a compulsive overeater, never cured.

I am a visual person, and I have a built in”forgetter”. I wanted those chips/medallions up front and center to remind me everyday. I have a daily reprieve to stay recovered. What action do I need to take to stay recovered? I have to remind myself of this every day because I am a compulsive overeater and always will be no many how many years that I remain recovered.

I decided to put my chips/medallions into a frame and place it in my kitchen where I am daily reminded. Not only of the physical recovery, but the inside too where my attitudes and behaviors need constant changing. Much has changed and I believe I will always have something to work on until the day I die because I am human, a compulsive addict that can easily forget and go back to old ways.

When I see my chips/medallions sometimes, I chuckle. These definitely are chips of a different kind. The salty crunchy kind I once partook of for so many years that nearly killed me, I don’t want those kind anymore. I prefer these ones so much more.

These chips are of a different kind!! Now, these are the ones I can’t stop at just one.
Here’s to recovery, one day at a time!

–Melanie B.

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