“We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish.” It is the proper use of the will.”
– 2001© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc., Fourth Edition, p.85. All rights reserved.
I have to remind myself daily that I am never cured. I am powerless over everything in my life. I will always have that allergy of craving and mental twist. Nothing will change that. But by living in the Steps daily, I have found the way to arrest that craziness. God gives me the awareness to be able to see right from wrong. Coping amidst the calamity and having a peace from the craziness of this addiction is freedom. God does for me what I can’t possibly do.
God’s will. Oh boy there are times I want to do what I want to do. I have to stay awake and aware to be able to see this and act accordingly. Any person, place or thing can get me into my selfish ways very easily if I am not connected with my Higher Power.
I think the biggest realization after I completed the Steps the first time was when a disturbance hit me and I questioned, “What? I’m back here again???!!!! Yes, I sure was. Big shock… I wasn’t perfect…duh!
I am human and will keep repeating until I take action and learn, so I can change. Even then, that “change” is always changing. Nothing stays the same. Not to mention how anything at anytime can trigger old habits and bring things bubbling to the surface in a second. I know I have to be ready for anything; rely on my Higher Power and take action to use the Steps to solve whatever comes up.
Staying connected.
It’s been an ongoing learning with the relationship between me and my Higher Power.
I really didn’t know if I could trust anyone, let alone a Higher Power. But I had no other alternative. I wanted recovery. I sure as heck didn’t trust people. So, I gave a measure of trust and it wasn’t long before I was shown I could rely on my Higher Power. My Higher Power does for me what I can’t do! Which is basically everything.
Like any relationship, when both parties work at it, it grows and gets richer. When you stop, and pull away, things grow cold.
Someone once said to me how I had such a strong faith. I believe they thought my faith was attributed to me being a church goer. Well only the only church I go to is my meetings.
My Higher Power has proven to me time and time again He has got me in his care. My Higher Power has found me jobs, provided an apartment, kept me safe. I TRUST. I have learned so many spiritual principles by working the Steps. I just focused on living in the Steps and the spiritual awakening and principles became and still become a part of me and will continue to do so. Nothing stays the same for long.
If it does, there’s a problem and things have gone stale. WATCH OUT!! WARNING!
Do I doubt at times? Hell yes! I’m human. It happens. My doubt comes from my insecurities. Any disturbance I have, I have learned it is about me not the other person. Having doubts may happen, but doubts are short lived when daily connected. Those are times practicing the Steps come into play. I’m grateful for doubts.
Getting to know each other by talking (prayer)…. by listening (meditation) works. There’s no perfection in figuring out the how… just DO IT! I have got one mouth… two ears! I talk to my Higher Power like a friend and confidant about anything and I listen. I wait and be still and take whatever action I need in the wait.
Do I get on my knees? Not often. My legs are not that strong and I would have problems getting up haha… but my heart is bowed. Submission comes with a contrite heart and with love.
Our relationship may not be perfect but through the good and the bad, I am so grateful. It is through those bad times, those uncomfortable times that I have learned the biggest spiritual lessons. It is during those times I say, “Father, show me what I need to learn. Thy will not mine be done.”
I need to stay awake, aware and take action, action action every day!
-Mel B
©2026 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
All rights reserved. Proudly sponsored by OA Foot Steps VIG #09670.
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