I’ve been reading and studying Steps Six and Seven in the past weeks. I’ve become particularly watchful and aware of my major character defects, and I truly believe I should take these Steps daily in order to keep working toward what Higher Power wants for me.
Recently, I was in the company of a colleague whom I admire and like; however, I felt envious of her. Here’s why: She has been on a diet for a number of months and has lost significant weight. She looked great and was still working the diet to reach her goal. She received a lot of attention, and all of a sudden I felt envious and (for some reason) “less than.” I had witnessed her physical recovery before, and was thinking, “I wonder if she’ll gain it all back again.” I felt shame for feeling this way, but I was able to talk about it with a fellow OA member.
I am happy for her success, and I will pray that she stays healthy and well. She has always treated me kindly and professionally. I had no reason to feel envy toward her, but my character defects do not discriminate; they pop up freely and with no advance warning. So I will continue to pray for knowledge of right actions to take and let HP “do his thing” with this one, in his time, not mine.
I pray each day to be willing to have defects removed. I list the defects I feel are strongest every morning when I write. I know, however, that HP picks the ones to address and puts people and situations in my path to help me practice new behaviors. Character defects will not go away until I learn and practice new ways to act. The more my actions fall into line with my intentions and my prayers, the closer I am to doing HP’s will for me.
I am constantly becoming more useful to HP and my fellows, which is the essence of Step Seven. I am humbly asking HP to remove my shortcomings, and it happens when my actions allow it to take place.
— Edited and reprinted from The Transformation newsletter, Central Ohio Intergroup, July 2010
Source: OA Lifeline Lifeline: Stories of Recovery, 2016 ©Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.
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