“…by setting down our grievances in black and white, we place a boundary around them.” -The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 71. – July 14th, p.196 Voices of Recovery
Early in abstinence, these words were reinforced.
I was to attend a Thanksgiving dinner with family. I really didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to deal with one of my family members. My sponsor encouraged me to go. I learned that day when I felt disturbed about doing something, it is the very place I need to be to learn what I need to learn.
So, I went to the family dinner with an open mind (ha yah right). I sat down in a far remote area feeling safe. Before long, who sidled up next to me? … was the very person I was trying to avoid. I thought, “God you are really testing me today”. I took a deep breath.
The family member from the moment they sat down, chatted non stop. All the while I watched the clock on the wall so I could make my escape.I went home very agitated. As soon as I arrived home, I got out the paper and pen. I needed to clear this disturbance.
I started with a rant. “Oh my God they think they know everything and why oh why of all people did they have to sit beside me like OMG!!”.
I soon quieted, asking God what are you trying to teach me? Ok, what was my part in all of this? Why am I so agitated over them? It’s not about them…it’s me.
As I wrote, I realized I couldn’t write one thing down they had said to me… I wasn’t listening. Yet I nodded many times as if I was. How humbling it was… oh boy. This is in no way is the example of a 12 Step person.Dig deeper Melanie, why weren’t you listening? Oh boy. I have always felt I have never had a voice. When around those that had a voice, I was jealous. I was not pissed at them, but at myself for not knowing how to speak up. In not speaking up about anything, I gave her that power over me. Wow. I had no boundaries. It was very humbling.
So grateful for that Thanksgiving and the lesson it taught me. I now can go to family dinners with no hesitation. I am learning to communicate, to listen. I am learning when to speak up and when to remain quiet.
I have a crazy head that I can tell myself a whole lot of lies and bullcrap…and even believe it to be true, especially when I am not spiritually fit. That mental twist that is a part of me, can become very loud when not surrendered to the guidance of my Higher Power.
Writing has been a valuable tool in my recovery. When I get things out of me, written in black and white, something happens. Those thoughts that rudiment and take on a power of their own in my brain, are brought to their knees. When those thoughts are written on paper, the truth is revealed. As if my Higher Power through my pen allows me to see the falsehood. I am able to clear things away that disturb me, and find a solution and live free from the chaos in my brain and life.
I have a program of recovery that has a solution to every problem. Not only do I have the 12 Steps and a Higher Power to guide me but a powerful tool of writing to get out of my head and see things my Higher Power needs to show me.
-Melanie B.
– Inspired by: “Voices of Recovery” – July 14th, pg 196,©2002
© 1997–2026 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Did you enjoy this article? We would encourage our members to use this post, and others like it, at their meetings, or for private reflection. We also encourage you to share this post to other fellows to help the compulsive eater who still suffers. Please let us know if you have an idea for an article or an upcoming theme, or have any questions or suggestions. Email our editorial staff at [email protected].
The experience, strength, and hope expressed in this article, reflect the individual OA members and does not represent OA as a whole. Other OA groups and service bodies are welcome to reprint articles from Experience, Strength & Hope Newsletter without permission. When reprinting from other OA newsletters, be sure to credit the source.
© 1997–2026 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Did you enjoy this article? We would encourage our members to use this post, and others like it, at their meetings, or for private reflection. We also encourage you to share this post to other fellows to help the compulsive eater who still suffers. Please let us know if you have an idea for an article or an upcoming theme, or have any questions or suggestions. Email our editorial staff at [email protected].
The experience, strength, and hope expressed in this article, reflect the individual OA members and does not represent OA as a whole. Other OA groups and service bodies are welcome to reprint articles from Experience, Strength & Hope Newsletter without permission. When reprinting from other OA newsletters, be sure to credit the source.
