I had struggled with my weight for much of my life. I had been on diets since I was in my teens, trying both reasonable and outright crazy fad diets from year to year. Some weight would come off but inevitably more would come back on. It was a losing battle but I didn’t know there was a solution.
When I was in my twenties, a friend got me to start going to the doctor she was seeing to lose
weight. He was essentially a legalized drug dealer, hand writing a label to stick on a prescription bottle with the name and dose of the amphetamines that he then filled the bottle with from a huge bottle of them that he kept in his drawer. Cash only and see you next week. The pills made me feel nauseated and
anxious but they did take away my appetite so I thought this was the answer. But I couldn’t sleep so I stopped taking them and the weight came back.
In addition to my struggles with food, I had often had trouble making friends and avoided going to parties where I wouldn’t know most of the people there. At work, I could talk all day about things relating to my profession but put me in a social situation and I wanted to disappear. As a child I had heard people describe me as “painfully shy” and it was the truth. I heard people I considered friends, close friends even, describe me as cold or aloof. It hurt to think that these people did not understand how I felt about them. It took until I was fifty years old and had raised two sons who were on the autism spectrum to realize that I too was on the spectrum. It explained so much. People really didn’t get me but it wasn’t my fault. I was just wired differently. My neurodiversity is just a part of who I am. Other neurodiverse people get me without a problem.
When I attended my first OA meeting with neurodiversity as a special focus I knew that I had found people who understood me in a way that even other OA members could not. I had found my tribe and certainly my home group.
Eventually I even found my sponsor there. I found people who accepted me “warts and all” as the saying goes. I felt that I was truly a part of the group and made friends. Working my program became a joy instead of a confusing chore as it had been with a previous sponsor who didn’t understand about people who are neurodivergent. Eventually I became comfortable sharing the fact that I was neurodivergent in other meetings without a special focus. I can only hope that this will help other neurodivergent people realize that there is a place for us in OA. We can feel that “welcome home” the we hear about so often.
-member from New York State, USA
©2024 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
All rights reserved. Proudly sponsored by OA Foot Steps VIG #09670.
Did you enjoy this article? We would encourage our members to use this post, and others like it, at their meetings, or for private reflection. We also encourage you to share this post to other fellows to help the compulsive eater who still suffers. Please let us know if you have an idea for an article or an upcoming theme, or have any questions or suggestions. Email our editorial staff at [email protected].
The experience, strength, and hope expressed in this article, reflect the individual OA members and does not represent OA as a whole. Other OA groups and service bodies are welcome to reprint articles from Experience, Strength & Hope Newsletter without permission. When reprinting from other OA newsletters, be sure to credit the source.
