This time of year always gives hope of new life springing eternal. Spring, when things begin to grow after a long winter, bringing about change of better things to come.
In ten days I will be celebrating 6 years of abstinence. There are times that I have to pinch myself. I never ever thought I’d be maintaining a healthy body weight and for the last 5 years, but that is right where I am due to living in the Steps.
It’s beyond my wildest dreams for this compulsive overeater. 15 years ago I was well over 600 lbs.
I wasn’t in good health and several times came close to death due to my overeating. I sometimes marvel that I am still alive and am able to walk. A pure miracle. Once being on 170 units of insulin a day, high blood pressure on medication and a large hernia where my gut was fully outside my abdominal wall. My teeth were rotting out of my head due to high sugar consumption. Not to mention my self-esteem was at its lowest. I suffered clinical depression. I was miserable, blaming everyone else except myself. I felt I didn’t have a voice. I loathed myself so much, I ran away from close friends, for I felt if they got close enough, they too would hate me like I hated myself. Relationships were not good. I didnt trust many, especially myself. I couldn’t save a plug nickle and spent more than I had that led me to bankruptcy. I was stuck in a cycle I couldn’t get out of and I ate. I couldn’t stop. I tried everything and nothing worked. I was powerless.
My life was unmanageable.
Thank God for OA.
Now after 5 plus years, I still meet people who don’t recognize me.
There are times when life happens; I sometimes don’t recognize myself lol. It’s just not just my weight loss but the changes that have occurred from within me.
The 9th Step promises certainly come to fruition when living in the Steps. Life certainly changes. The physical milestones that have taken place fail in comparison, to the changes from within. HP certainly can do anything!
The picture above I painted when a friend asked me to paint how I felt after my weight loss. A feeling I still cannot fully express.
“Anew”.
Not just a rebirth of the external but changes from inside out.
Energy being released back into the universe as it should; Life is “Anew”.
-Submitted by Melanie B.
©2024 Experience Strength & Hope Newsletter,
All rights reserved. Proudly sponsored by OA Foot Steps VIG #09670.
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